Last night I watched the Oprah Winfrey Oscar special...and during part of the time, friends and actors Russell Crowe & Nicole Kidman interviewed one another.
Kidman asked Crowe, "Do you prefer loving or being loved?"
Squirm, squirm...He said something like: "I prefer loving...it is easier. I am horrible at receiving gifts, I'd rather give them."
When Crowe said he was so very intrigued by that question, he returned the question to Kidman. She, after also squirming uncomfortably in her chair, replied something like: "I prefer loving because it's easier than letting myself be loved. It's hard to receive love when you feel so undeserving and unworthy of it. It's the hardest thing in the world."
BINGO - she just described grace - she just nailed humanity's plight and even her superstardom status, riches, fame and comforts cannot alleviate her need to let herself be loved though unworthy.
This is why so many do not understand the basis of Christianity...we have nothing to give...and unless we open our hands to receive His undeserved pardon and free gift of salvation, eternal life and forgiveness, we are not truly living in the Love of God. AND we are miserable, wandering, protective, alone.
I hope and pray, that this "aha" will penetrate deeply and open her up to receiving the ultimate Lover's love.
and maturity needs these periods
of obscurity, disillusionment and boredom.
Maturity comes when we have at last realized
that we must love our Lord simply and freely
in spite of our horrible unworthiness..."
(Abbe de Tourville 1842-1903 - in Letters of Direction)